Friday, January 17, 2014

Where are those darn ruby slippers when you need them?

The sign above her bed says, "May you have peace as you wait to go home."  She told me, soon after meeting her, pointing to that sign as she said it, "I don't mean home to my house.  I mean my heavenly home."

No place feels like home right now.  We've visited our Tennessee home and it's not our home anymore.  We live in a beautiful home here and it's not feeling like "home" yet either.

I'm going to follow some of my own advice I gave today and keep it real here.  These last six months or so have been hard.  A lot harder than I thought it would be.  My head knows and my heart believes that God loves me and has His best for me, but still, it's been hard.

Change is hard.

I keep telling myself what I would tell someone if they were in my shoes, "this too shall pass, give yourself time, it's ok to be sad."  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.

Sometimes those words just don't do it.  Sometimes I can't do anything but feel sad.  And displaced.  And sad.  Pretty soon I just take those  *(%&*$ )*(@# Pollyanna phrases and throw them out the window!

I don't know if that helps anyone to say that, or you might be thinking, "get over yourself!" - believe me, I'm trying.

I think about the little folks I have the privilege of taking care of now.  Their home and possessions have been whittled down to a small room and what can fit in a tiny closet.  I'm sure none of them expected their lives to end up where they are now, and as many of them appear to be making the best of their circumstances and living arrangements, there's a sadness in their eyes and I want to say for them, "Is this it?  This is what my life has come down to?"

That's why my friend's sign above her bed speaks so loudly to me each time I go in her little "home" and read it.

May you have peace as you wait to go home.

Peace.

While waiting.

While changing.

While grieving.

While rejoicing.

While hoping.

While expecting.

I'm thinking, and God's showing me, that this place, no matter where my four walls stand, is not my home.  It's just where I stay until I get to go home to be with Him where there is no more sadness or tears or pain or change!  For we will all be changed into what we were created to be, finally!, in a twinkling of an eye and what was won't be anymore and the final change will have been made and I will be where I'm supposed to be, where I'm meant to be.

Home.

I wish you Peace for the changes you're in right now as you wait to go Home,

Ronda






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