Wednesday, January 29, 2014

For my girl who is soon to be a Momma


I'm going to become a grandmother soon.  Lots of people have done this I'm sure, but as my first grandchild is being born to my first girl, my middle child, I've been thinking about some of the things I wish I could go back and tell myself when I was a new mom.  So here is my list of things I would say to myself if I could:

You're not going to be a perfect parent.

Your child is not going to be a perfect child.  Don't let the pressures of achieving those impossible people keep you from enjoying your child or being a Mom.

It's ok to let the little ones cry so you can compose yourself and control yourself from shaking them.  It's ok.  They won't be psychologically damaged if you walk away for a few minutes or more when you just can't take the crying anymore.  It's ok. You hear me?  It's ok.

You're not going to be a perfect parent.

Give yourself the grace you need when you make mistakes.  Because remember, you're not going to be a perfect parent.

Don't be afraid to say "this kid is driving me nuts!"

Enjoy the baby moments.  They are few and can't be repeated.  

Don't give yourself the excuse to be a slob because the baby won't let you take a shower.  Take a shower.  The baby will be ok for the few minutes it will take to clean yourself up, wash your hair (ok you probably won't be able to dry it and curl it) but it's ok to take a shower.  The baby will be ok!

You're not going to be a perfect parent.

Only God is the perfect parent.  Your kids were his long before they were yours.  Let him take the heat for when they're driving you nuts.  (In religious language it's called "praying for your child" but it's ok in those prayers to flat out say, "this kid of yours is driving me nuts!")

You're not going to be a perfect parent.

But the Perfect Parent is by your side, night and day, through the crying and the recharging of sleep.  He's got you both.  Crazy as He seems, He picked you to be this child's momma.  He knows what He's doing.




Friday, January 17, 2014

Where are those darn ruby slippers when you need them?

The sign above her bed says, "May you have peace as you wait to go home."  She told me, soon after meeting her, pointing to that sign as she said it, "I don't mean home to my house.  I mean my heavenly home."

No place feels like home right now.  We've visited our Tennessee home and it's not our home anymore.  We live in a beautiful home here and it's not feeling like "home" yet either.

I'm going to follow some of my own advice I gave today and keep it real here.  These last six months or so have been hard.  A lot harder than I thought it would be.  My head knows and my heart believes that God loves me and has His best for me, but still, it's been hard.

Change is hard.

I keep telling myself what I would tell someone if they were in my shoes, "this too shall pass, give yourself time, it's ok to be sad."  Blah.  Blah.  Blah.

Sometimes those words just don't do it.  Sometimes I can't do anything but feel sad.  And displaced.  And sad.  Pretty soon I just take those  *(%&*$ )*(@# Pollyanna phrases and throw them out the window!

I don't know if that helps anyone to say that, or you might be thinking, "get over yourself!" - believe me, I'm trying.

I think about the little folks I have the privilege of taking care of now.  Their home and possessions have been whittled down to a small room and what can fit in a tiny closet.  I'm sure none of them expected their lives to end up where they are now, and as many of them appear to be making the best of their circumstances and living arrangements, there's a sadness in their eyes and I want to say for them, "Is this it?  This is what my life has come down to?"

That's why my friend's sign above her bed speaks so loudly to me each time I go in her little "home" and read it.

May you have peace as you wait to go home.

Peace.

While waiting.

While changing.

While grieving.

While rejoicing.

While hoping.

While expecting.

I'm thinking, and God's showing me, that this place, no matter where my four walls stand, is not my home.  It's just where I stay until I get to go home to be with Him where there is no more sadness or tears or pain or change!  For we will all be changed into what we were created to be, finally!, in a twinkling of an eye and what was won't be anymore and the final change will have been made and I will be where I'm supposed to be, where I'm meant to be.

Home.

I wish you Peace for the changes you're in right now as you wait to go Home,

Ronda