Monday, December 16, 2013

what's your motive?

1 Corinthians 4:5
Therefore judge nothing before the appointed time; wait till the Lord comes.  He will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of men's hearts.  At that time each will receive his praise from God.


something as a need or desire that causes a person to act

moving or tending to move to action

of or relating to motion or causing of motion

Boule - from the Greek boulomai - to will.  I will, intend, desire, wish.  Boule means counsel, deliberate wisdom, a resolved plan.

Webster's synonym discussion of motive, impulse, incentive, inducement, spur, goad:

Motive implies an emotion or desire operating on the will and causing it to act.

Impulse suggests a driving power arising from personal temperament or constitution.

Incentive applies to an external influence as an expected reward inciting to action.

Inducement suggests a motive prompted by the deliberate enticements or allurements of another.

Spur applies to a motive that stimulates the faculties or increases energy or ardor.

Goad suggests a motive that keeps one going against one's will or desire.

What are your goals?  What's your motive for the things you do in your life?  If you have the courage, think a little more deeply on this question.

I've been thinking of my own motives and goals lately.  The whirlwind of this summer and all its activity and almost constant levels of adrenaline have now subsided.  We're falling into a routine and I think some of the emotions of this summer that were put in a box to be dealt with later are now climbing out, wanting to be aired and set free.

I've had moments, random moments, where I am overwhelmed, OVERWHELMED, with a deep feeling of sadness.  Like if the time is right, I could just start crying and not stop.  I even find myself during those times of overwhelming sadness, ask the W word....sshhh, you know the one.....why?

There have been thoughts that find their way into my mind that go like this:

How in the world did we get here?  (It's minus 10 degrees BELOW zero for crying out loud!)

Even though at the time I knew, and still know, God was at the forefront of the whole journey of leaving comfortable, I'm finding myself asking Him these questions like a four year old throwing a tantrum when she doesn't want to go to bed but is miserable staying up past bedtime.

What in the hell happened?

Why are we here?  (It's minus 10 degrees BELOW zero for crying out loud!)

I write these thoughts now with a somewhat smile on my face, but I'll be honest, I'm still working through it.  And God has been encouraging me all along, bringing to mind truth over my emotions.  Those emotions can feel so real and OVERWHELMING, but God's truth is what steadies my heart when I'm enjoying my new surroundings and our new opportunities at the same time feeling OVERWHELMING sadness and, yes, even grief.

I've been checking my motive, it can be such an ugly companion when it's not lined up with what God wants for my life, and believe me, I've had my moments when it's MINUS 10 degrees below zero and I'm saying to Him who made the Universe - "surely, you didn't have this in mind when you, yes YOU, ripped us from our home of 15 years, away from our children and our life there, SURELY, there's been a miscommunication somewhere!"

Faith isn't pretty sometimes.  Sometimes it can be downright tantrum-ish when we follow where we believe he's leading but we don't like where He's taken us.  (It MINUS 10 degrees below zero for crying out loud!)

It is my goal that when my motives are exposed upon the return of the LORD  He reveals a heart motivated by desire to follow where He wants, not where I think I need to be and forgives me for the tantrums I throw in the process and the moments I do what I think is best and ignore what His best is for me.  (Yes, it IS minus 10 degrees below zero, somehow, someway, that's what His best is for me.)

Wishing you a peace that motivates you to follow His will for your life.

That little Baby, born to be King is sooooo worth it!


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