On the day the moving truck would unload our belongings, we would get the beds set up first and unpack as many lightweight boxes as we could, break down the boxes, and then move onto the next one. After everyone was in bed, I would unpack the kitchen and get that set up. By morning, when the kids were up "normal" was, for the most part, in place. I always forced myself to get it all unpacked, put away, pictures on the wall within a week.
I did this not only for the kids security, but also my own. I knew we were only going to be in our home for a short amount of time and I didn't want to live out of boxes. I needed order as much as the little people.
I would try to limit the amount of talking we had about the next move coming up until about 2-3 months before we had to move. It was important for me to just live in the moment we were in at that time and have our routines, without thinking about the next time we would have to pack it all up and start over again.
Usually, when we were 2-3 months out from the next move then I started feeling ready to get going. I started looking at our routines in "Lasts." The last time we'll go to the mall. The last time we'll go to our church. The last time we'll use this grocery store. The last time I'll buy frozen food or meat in big amounts. The last time we'll go visit a favorite spot in the area. By the time the "last" thing was done and we were working on our moving list, I was ready to go.
Up until 2005 I wasn't going to move again. Ever. Never. Ever.
Then I started hearing this still small voice in the most random places saying, "Go back." I would wonder, I would pray, I would ask God, "Go back where? To what?" I'd never get an answer, but I would keep hearing, at very random times, "Go back."
For two years this went on and in 2007, when my dad and aunt auctioned off my grandparent's household items, I was sitting with another aunt at the auction, when I heard "Go Back" while talking to her and I knew, we were to "Go Back" to our starting spot. Home.
My Never was becoming a Maybe. And my stubbornness to never move again was becoming, "oh, okay, one more time."
We attempted to purchase my grandmother's house and renovate it but it never worked out, leaving me puzzled about the whole "Go Back" thing I'd been hearing for two years.
Soon I was settled back into my routine, going to nursing school, graduating kids from college and planning weddings. The idea of "going back" now was becoming silly in my mind.
But then that changed. Again. My Never became Soon and plans started taking place, doors started opening and things are in motion for change to come.
So then I had what I like to call a God moment. One of those times when confirmation comes not in a written sign but in a sign that can't be from anyone or anything else but Him who holds our life and purpose in His hands.
In our new house, the one waiting for us, there is not a closet by the front door for coats. Not a big deal or a deal breaker, but I had been thinking about what we could do about that.
I went on Pinterest the other night, the first night in months and now I know why, it's not a "just for a few minutes" surf on that site... but I regress. I found this little item there and thought it would be a perfect and cute solution to my front door coat dilemma.
Adorable, right?! Just an old door with a shelf built onto the top and bottom and some hooks for hanging coats. LOVE it!
The next day, my daughter and I went to one of my favorite towns here to antique shop. I was not going to buy anything, because I am purging, I was just tagging along with my daughter. (Yeah, right!) I was looking for old doors though for my husband to make me the above item. We found a few, so I was happy about that and was thinking of when I could bring him back to look at them.
Well, you probably know where this is going, but another little piece of the story is this: My daughter's friend told her to go to a certain store on the square that I hadn't heard of before. I hadn't shopped in this town for months and the last time I had shopped there it wasn't there, but this little town square has been working hard to revamp their business and voila! this new store was there.
So we went in and were browsing when in the back of the store, I mean BACK, by the cash register was this:
Needless to say, but I'll say it anyway, I put it on layaway!
Another thing I bought, that I wasn't looking for but felt it was handpicked for me, was a 1943 copy of Streams in the Desert. I have been very touched through the years by that devotional and have given my copy away several times. The Bible speaks in specific ways to our souls at just the right time, and often, God would use this devotional to confirm what He had spoken in His word to me.
After that excitement of the door and the devotional we made our way to the store that we had intended to go to all along. As we were walking, I said to my daughter, the only difference about that door I put on layaway is that it didn't have the glass doorknob that the one on Pinterest had. She told me we could probably find one somewhere and I agreed.
As we are wandering around in the last store she sees this.
I believe in Godincidences, not coincidence. He is a God that LOVES to bless His children with good things. He loves to show His workings in our lives, we just need to open our eyes and look for them. They are all around you. Ask Him to show you His sweet kindness to you. No one but me knew about that doorway idea. No one! He sees into my heart and lavishes me with details that only He knows will touch me. I know He has the same planned for you!
That readiness is in my heart now. Firm, like concrete. He's got us on a path that only He could guide. I'm looking at my lasts, some of them make me cry, some make me laugh, some make me just simply sigh. The path is clear, the way is before us, and the doors are opening.
This is what that day's message was in the Streams devotional I bought:
"Roll on Jehovah thy way." (Psalm 37:5, margin)
"Whatever it is that presses thee, go tell the Father; put the whole matter over into His hand, and so shalt thou be freed from that dividing, perplexing care that the world is full of. When thou art either to do or suffer anything, when thou art about any purpose or business, go tell God of it, and acquaint Him with it; yes, burden Him with it, and thou hast done for matter of caring; no more care, but quiet, sweet, diligence in thy duty, and dependence on Him for the carriage of thy matters. Roll thy cares, and thyself with them, as one burden, all on God. - R. Leighton.
Build a little fence of trust
Fill the space with loving work
And therein stay.
Look not through the sheltering bars
God will help thee bear what comes
Of joy or sorrow.
"We shall find it impossible to commit our way unto the Lord, unless it be a way that He approves. It is only by faith that a man can commit his way unto the Lord; if there be the slightest doubt in the heart that "our way" is not a good one, faith will refuse to have anything to do with it. This committing of our way must be a continuous, not a single act. However extraordinary and unexpected may seem to be His guidance, however near the precipice He may take you, you are not to snatch the guiding reins out of His hands. Are we willing to have all our ways submitted to God, for Him to pronounce judgment on them? There is nothing a Christian needs to be more scrutinizing about than about his confirmed habits and views. He is too apt to take for granted the Divine approbation of them. Why are some Christians so anxious, so fearful? Evidently because they have not left their way with the Lord. They took it to Him, but brought it away with them again."